When All is Said & Done: Conversations in Healing
by Bard15
Summary: Although I have a multitude of stories languishing incomplete, I had to jump on the bandwagon with a WHN piece for the S4 finale. This will focus on the whole team in the weeks & months following that disastrous Op as they try to reconnect & reconcile after everything that was "Said & Done"; and try to become a Team again. Heavy on dialogue, light on action. Cameos by 5-0 & DC team
1. Ch 1: Taken

God, I can't believe it...as if there wasn't enough of that _**damn, disgusting, horrific, sickening, loathsome densi SHIT **_ I have to weed through to find even a _half way decent story_ on this site...now, after that S4 finale, that's all I'm gonna find after that wretched, overly-melodramatic, lame-assed kiss!

And already the epi tags are pouring in...need I remind you folks that Deeks was not the only one affected by all of this...Sam is also being tortured...Javier ratted out Sam to get back at Callen, who is now eat up with the anger & guilt...Deeks and Sam are due a BIG "bromance" moment /that is not overly chatty and OOC—which is all I've read so far/ & the females are likely scared shitless & needing to "rescue" their men! (which I find amusing)

So, anyway, I'm going try my shot at a _**TEAM**_ tag that explores the _**whole TEAM's**_ feelings about this whole messed up Op...& that DENSI SHIT **DOES NOT** exist in my world…so don't insult me by asking for it!

**When All Is Said and Done**

**Chapter 1**

a/n: when it is all said and done...when the adrenalin is no longer pumping through your veins...when the case is over & the bombs safely locked away, physical hurts tended, reports filed with "I's" dotted and "T's" crossed...can you look in the mirror and be proud of what you accomplished...the countless millions you saved...can you live with words casually tossed out, decisions made under duress & sacrifices endured in the name of-country-duty-loyalty-and family...

…**..NCIS LA...**

**/David/ /Agent/**

Callen was nearly incapacitated in his rage and shock at what was printed across Javier's eyelids..._his partner_..._**his team **_was in mortal danger, could very well die this very day...could be dead at this very moment and he was totally helpless.

Memories of the year before assaulted him as his mind replayed in vivid detail the explosion from the previous year when Javier had set up his team to die in an abandoned warehouse. His gut clenched as he remembered watching Deeks and Kensi fly out of the warehouse; the concussive force of the explosion propelling them forcefully into the parking lot...where the two younger agents lay unmoving: adding to those tense moments was the realization that he didn't have eyes on Sam...

Javier just stared dispassionately at the furious agent: although the felon took great satisfaction in the grief he was inflicting on the agent he blamed for his downfall, he none the less kept the extreme satisfaction from his face...at least for the moment. While he was not lying...he did want to die...he, too, wanted to savor this victory just a little while longer, and so chose not to openly taunt the agent.

Slamming the arms dealer against a post, Callen demanded angrily, "What is Siderov planning...?"

"The relationship I have with Siderov is strictly professional...what he does in his spare time..." Javier stated with a mild shrug.

"What's happening to my team...?" Callen ground out angrily.

Meeting the agent's angry gaze, Javier answered with an equal calm, "I. Don't. Know...and, if I did..."

Javier's indifferent shrug and mild smirk only fueled Callen's anger.

Callen backed up a step and struck the arms dealer forcefully across the face, growling out venomously, "I will kill you..."

Shaking his head and gently prodding his split lit, Javier straightened and said pointedly, "of course you will agent Callen..."

"Mr. Callen, stand down..." Hetty's voice rang out through the boat shed, causing both men to look up at the screen.

"Hetty...Sam's been comprised...maybe Michelle...we have to get them out of there..." Callen explained quickly.

Hetty just nodded, "Agent Blye is with Michelle Hanna...but we have lost contact with Agent Hanna and Detective Deeks..."

"Both of them..." Callen choked out.

"Siderov made Sam, we don't know how..." Eric cut in only to be interrupted by Callen.

"I do..." Callen snapped, glaring at Javier.

"Mr. Deeks moved in as back up and we lost his comma signal moments later..." Hetty continued.

"Eric send me the address...and track down Kensi and Michelle...see if they can meet me there..." Callen demanded as he headed towards the door, pointing behind him he ordered the armed agents, "put him in a hole...I'll deal with him later..."

"Ms. Blye was following Agent Hanna; Siderov sent her off with the two women..." Hetty reported.

"We don't know if Siderov made Michelle...he might be trying to split up the team. We don't have time for subtlety...have Kensi and Michelle bring 'em in...see what they can tell us..." Callen replied shortly.

"Agreed..."Hetty replied, "stay in touch..."

"Will do..." Callen said as he climbed into his car.

…**.ncis la...**

Despite the danger to his team, Callen reigned in his fear and cautiously approached the house...gun drawn...

He made his way quickly through the house, encountering no opposition...and thankfully, no bodies...

He made it through the house and to the back slider, peering cautiously out into the back yard and pool...breathing a sigh of relief that the pool too was free of 'bodies'.

Making his way out on the deck he surveyed the area critically...there was a large, wet area on the far side of the pool that had yet to dry in the California sun. Callen approached it slowly grimacing at the smaller, dark congealed puddle mixing with the drying water on the concrete of the pool deck.

Kneeling to touch the congealing spot to confirm it as drying blood his eyes caught a glint in the bushes; moving towards the object he was stricken to note that it was Deeks service revolver. Reaching down to pick up the weapon, he noted flecks of dried blood on the grip...his eyes moving back to the blood pool on the concrete...one of his team was likely hurt...and the large, drying spot of water conjured all sorts of unpleasant images as to the state Deeks and Sam could be in.

Callen closed his eyes tightly for a moment, taking in a releasing a heavy sigh as he willed his heart to slow its thunderous beat against his chest and attempted to reign in his mounting fear and anger.

Finally he called into Ops, "Hetty...they were here...they're gone...no sign of them-but...I found Deeks service weapon...and a small pool of blood—doesn't look like enough to indicate either of them were shot...but...well, anyway, need a unit out here to process this scene. Eric, I need you to pull up every last bit of camera footage we have of this area...I want to know where Siderov took them..."

"Already on it...that is a high priced community, just put in in the last three years...actually has state of the art security...each house comes equipped with a full security system and there are cameras at every cross street..." Eric reported, adding, "I'll need to hack into the security companies on-line system to access the individual house cameras, but I can pull up the city traffic cams..."

"How 'bout Kensi and Michelle...?" Callen asked.

"They are currently experiencing some difficulties of their own..." Hetty replied.

"Are they alright...?" Callen demanded.

"They will be...they have one of the women in custody...unfortunately, the other one escaped..." Nell interjected.

"No doubt she's gonna try to contact Siderov...probably means Michelle's cover is blown too..." Callen stated.

"Which means besides Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks...Michelle, and anyone with her, is also in grave danger..." Hetty said.

"Have them take the prisoner back to the boat shed...Michelle should be safe enough there for the time being and we need to find out what the woman knows..." Callen directed.

**...ncis la...**

Callen noted that Kensi's bike and Michelle's SUV were parked at the boat shed when he arrived and he wasted no time barreling into the building, demanding, "anything...?"

Michelle nodded to the interrogation rooms, "she's not talking...yet..."

"Eric has the footage, we were waiting for you..." Kensi said.

Ops flashed onto the screen and the three agents immediately took in the stiff demeanor of the operations manager and the ragged, almost shell-shocked look of their tech.

"Hetty...?" Callen questioned.

"Need I remind you that we still have a case to finish...Siderov still has those bombs in his possession..." Hetty began tightly.

"Hetty, what is it...what happened to Sam..." Michelle interrupted.

"As you're aware Sam was compromised by Javier...Mr. Deeks went in to offer assistance and we lost his comm signal..."

"But Callen didn't find either of them at the house..." Kensi said.

"No, because Siderov indeed has them both..." Hetty replied.

"And we're sure of this..." Callen prodded.

Hetty nodded and turned to Eric, who said hollowly, "I hacked the houses system..."

_The screen flashed to the backyard of the house where Siderov took Sam and Michelle...they watched the silent video as Sam and Siderov exchanged dialogue and Sam accepted the case being cuffed to his wrist...Michelle and Kensi both __gasped in surprise and horror when Sam was attacked from behind and fell, unconscious into the pool...seconds later Deeks appeared on the screen, gun drawn-even without audio, the look on Deeks face was enough to show the anguish and uncertainty the det__ective felt at being alone in the choice of taking_ _down Siderov or saving Sam. The reason for the lost comm signal became obvious when Deeks made this choice and threw his gun aside and dove into the pool after his stricken team mate._

The agents in the shed were white knuckling the next few minutes as they watched Deeks hoist Sam out of the pool, surprisingly with the help of some of Siderov's men. Callen's face was a mask of intense trepidation and he dared a glance at Michelle and Kensi as they watched Deeks look for a pulse. Kensi placed a comforting hand on Michelle's shoulder when the woman gasped out a pained, "No, god, no..." and put a hand to her mouth as they watched Deeks began CPR on her husband.

_After several tense moments they saw the detective rock back on his haunches and appear to breathe a sigh of relief...although Deeks didn't look up it was apparent he was answering a question the Russian had directed towards him. Apparently satisfied with the answer, Siderov gave one of his men a subtle signal and soon Deeks was sprawled across the still unconscious Sam...one of Siderov's men having struck the detective from behind as he tended to his injured team mate._

They agents watched as Siderov motioned to his men and soon both Sam and Deeks were loaded into an SUV parked in the driveway.

"Eric, were you able to follow them...?" Callen ground out.

"We were able to follow them through town...but once they left the city limits the cameras are set farther apart...we have the SUV passing the camera at mile marker 40 ...but they never passed by the next camera that is at marker 55..." Eric reported.

"So, somewhere between marker 47 and 55 they left the road..." Callen reiterated.

"But it's an old industrial area through there...saw its heyday in the late 80's..." Nell spoke up, "most of the area has been abandoned..."

"Can we trace ownership of any of the buildings to _any _of Siderov's aliases or shell companies...?" Michelle demanded, suddenly finding her voice.

"I have Siderov's company holdings running through county records now..." Nell said.

"We can't just sit here..." Kensi said, "Siderov knows they're agents...he's going to..."

Callen shook his head, "No...Siderov wants something..." looking towards Sam's wife he continued, "why else would he have taken them and not just killed them at the house..."

Michelle nodded slowly, "He'll want to know how deep agents are embedded in his organization...whether it's safe to go through with the sale..."

"So that buys us some time..." Kensi queried.

If possible Michelle's features became even more creased with worry as she shook her head, "if Siderov wants information...he has some very...'persuasive' ways of getting it..."

"Torture..." Callen all but growled.

"I know Sam has...I know he has faced a lot with his time in the SEALs..." Michelle choked out with uncertainty, "but Siderov...he is one vicious son of a bitch..."

Kensi and Callen exchanged fearful looks...while no man could withstand interrogation and torture indefinitely and would eventually concede to their torturers or die, Sam being no exception: their real fear was for Deeks. Sam had the training as a SEAL and as an agent on counter-interrogation techniques...had withstood torture on past assignments; and would hold out past human endurance, but the detective was a different story. While the agents knew Deeks could hold his own against the best of them-on the street, with the thugs, drug dealers, even human traffickers...but a man of Siderov's reputation-the detective had very little experience or training for that caliber of felon.

"Callen..." Kensi gasped worriedly.

"I know..." the agent replied, looking towards Michelle he asked, "...the woman give you anything..."

"No...but she's a hired gun...I really don't think she knows anything," Michelle said, "Siderov tended to compartmentalize...whatever you were hired for—that's what you knew...and I think _**I**_ was _there_ job..."

"You think he made you as an agent...?" Callen asked.

Shaking her head, Michelle answered, "I don't know...but, it didn't seem my 'friends' were inclined to question me...Siderov might have just wanted to tie up loose ends or kill me for being dumb enough to bring an agent into his organization..."

"So, what now..." Kensi pushed.

Turning back towards the Ops screen, Callen asked, "Eric...anything...?"

"We've gone through about half the land tracts...so far, nothing..." Eric reported.

Exchanging looks with the two female agents, Callen said, "Hetty, we can't sit around here; we're gonna head out that way...Eric can send us the address when he narrows the search..."

"Very well Mr. Callen...I will have a tactical unit standing by..." Hetty replied.

…**..ncis la...**

"Perhaps we will try the weaker one...that partner of yours..." Siderov said conversationally as he circled Sam like the predator he was.

The words chilled him to his core despite the burning pain raging through his body. He was barely withstanding the extreme tactics Siderov was employing to extract information from him...the Russian sure didn't waste time on small talk and pleasantries-rather going right for the jugular in his rather forceful interrogation techniques...going in for the kill rather than building up the pain and fear in his victims.

That told Sam that Siderov was getting desperate...and that made him all the more dangerous and unpredictable. If his first line of torture was the "electric chair", Sam was sickened to think of what the Russian had in mind for the detective that dared interfere with his plans. Sam knew that the sudden appearance of a lone LAPD detective must have confused Siderov...agents and spies he would expect that was an expected risk of the business: but one lone police officer from the locality...the Russian had to be wondering how the LA police even knew of him.

"Not weak..." Sam gasped out.

"He chose to save you rather than complete his mission...he is weak...let's emotion cloud his judgment..." Siderov commented.

"Not weakness...teamwork..." Sam spat out, disgusted to think that but mere hours earlier he held opinions not to dissimilar to Siderov's of Deeks abilities to do this job professionally with the seriousness and commitment it required.

Siderov shrugged, patting Sam on the shoulder, "we shall see about that..."

One of Siderov's men opened the connecting door and Sam got his first look at the detective since they had been taken. Deeks was sitting in a wooden chair (so no electric chair for him), tied to the chair in a similar fashion as Sam.

Turning his gaze to the detectives face he noted Deeks eyes were fastened on the clamps on Sam's chair, and the agent knew Deeks had an idea of what had just happened. While the connecting door had glazed windows, making anything on the opposite side indistinct and hazy, one could none the less see the shadows of the tortures going on within the room.

"So perhaps you will not be so stubborn as your partner...you will answer one simple question for me...yes..." Siderov asked.

"I already told you...I'm LAPD...I heard the disturbance and came to investigate...I don't even know the guy..." Deeks said.

"Really...how is it that an LAPD detective would be in such a position to 'investigate' a disturbance..." Siderov countered.

"Hey...you're not the only criminal in the city...I was meeting a snitch..." Deeks countered quickly.

"A snitch...in a neighborhood that offers half a million dollar houses and you are meeting one of these 'snitches'..." Siderov said in utter disbelief.

Deeks nodded, "hey...high priced crime calls for a high priced snitch..."

"What is the saying...'will give you points for trying...no...'" Siderov said as he walked behind Deeks and put both hands on the detective's shoulders while nodding to one of his men.

Sam watched as Deeks struggled what little his bonds allowed, while the man put the brace in the detective's mouth; noting the look of confusion and mounting fear in Deeks eyes at the absolute uncertainty of what he was about to endure. Unfortunately, Sam had an idea of what Siderov was planning...he had heard of some of the tortures of the old Russian regime used on its political enemies and was as horrified as the detective when the drill came into play.

Sam cringed at the chocked screams of pain that came from his team mate...worse than enduring torture was to witness someone else be subjected to it. The whir of the drill and Deeks muffled screams seemed to last a lifetime...but if Sam were to have been in a position to note the time on a clock his lifetime was actually only measured in bursts of several seconds.

He didn't know how long it was before his mind registered the fact that the drill was still running but the screams had stopped...filling him with an overpowering feeling of rage, guilt and fear. Seconds later the drill stopped and the 'torturer' stepped aside to reveal a now unconscious Deeks drooped forward as far as his bonds would allow...blood pouring from the detective's mouth, one side of his face already swollen, deeply bruised and misshapen—no doubt the drill had hit the bone of the jaw and broken it...Deeks wouldn't be talking now, even if he wanted too.

Sam openly grimaced as Siderov grabbed the unconscious man roughly by the hair and pulled his head up...the blood suddenly reversing direction to go down the detective's throat, causing the man to begin to choke feebly on his own blood.

"He is useless to us now..." Siderov spat angrily, throwing Deeks head forward.

Sam watched horrified and helpless as the choking brought Deeks to a semi-conscious state...enough to panic the disoriented man when he couldn't pull in air, causing him to buck wildly against his restraints.

"Enough..." Siderov raged, backhanding to detective back to unconsciousness.

Though the slap no doubt aggravated Deeks wound, Sam was still grateful that unconsciousness meant that the detective would again start breathing normally.

…**..NCIS LA...**

a/n: now, some of this may be a little off...I only saw the S4 finale once and somehow missed almost the entire scene of Deeks rescuing Sam from the pool...so I don't know how much of that scene was actually played out on screen...& I fleshed out some of the scenes more that were skimmed over...


	2. Ch 2: The Plan

**When All Is Said & Done**

**Chapter 2**

"Eric, talk to me…where are we going…" Callen asked into the cell phone speaker that Kensi was holding.

"We've checked out almost all the records…there are three left at the far end of the that industrial district," Eric said, as he viewed images of an abandoned industrial buildings parking lot on the Ops screen,"…there are functioning traffic cams at the entrance to each building and we have three SUV's at the one called Peterson's Electronics. It looks like Siderov's SUV's, but I can't get a shot of the plates from the angle I have…"

Shooting a glance at the two female agents, Callen replied grimly, "good enough for us…we're checking it out…"

"Mr. Callen, there is a tactical team twelve minutes behind you…" Hetty interjected.

"If Siderov has been questioning them all this time," Michelle tightly, "Sam and Deeks don't have twelve more minutes…if they're not…." she was unable to continue.

"Ya' better make that two ambulances too…" Callen stated.

"Understood…" Hetty replied.

…**..ncis la…..**

"I can continue this all day, agent…you on the other hand…." Siderov said casually, as looked up from the switch on the control panel controlling the electrical current.

With Deeks loss of consciousness, Siderov had moved back into Sam's room and commenced to flip the switch a few more times…each time for a few seconds longer….and each time Sam's body arched painfully, stealing his breath away before collapsing boneless back into the seat. By now the agent was gasping for breath, his heart pounding wildly in his chest; sweat stood out on his forehead and his shaking body was both tingling and burning simultaneously.

Eying the man strapped to the chair dispassionately, Siderov asked, "your skin on fire agent…do you feel your heart faltering…falling out of its rhythm…?"

Sam ignored his torturer's casual taunts as he concentrated on pulling air into his battered lungs, running through several scenario's and wondering what he could tell the Russian to give him and Deeks at least a momentary reprieve; he didn't doubt for a second the minute Deeks showed any sign of consciousness that Siderov would start in on the detective again.

The agent knew if he told Siderov too much, he and Deeks were as good as dead; but how long could they hold out before the damage was irreversible or fatal….before the team managed to find them? It was a precarious balancing act…he needed to feed the Russian information in small bits…just enough to keep them alive a little longer, but not enough to compromise the team.

"So, I'll ask…again, is Quinn an agent or were you just using her to get to me…" Siderov demanded, adding, "And how much does NCIS know…how did the local police get involved…?" The last was asked with a truthful tone of confusion as Siderov gave a small wave towards the detective.

"Not…not involved…LAPD doesn't know…a thing…about you…" Sam ground out painfully.

"So you honestly expect me to believe that this detective just stumbled upon our meeting place…" the Russian scoffed, "please do not think me such a fool, agent…."

They were caught, Siderov already knew he was an NCIS agent…Deeks already admitted to being an LAPD detective so Sam saw no harm in drawing out this line of questioning as long as he could; buy them time and keep the focus away from Callen and Michelle…and his injured team mate.

"…liaison…Deeks is a liaison…." Sam said with a strained huff.

"Liaison…?" Siderov questioned, curious despite more pressing issues, "Explain this…liaison…? NCIS, it is government agency…no; what purpose would a_ liaison _serve your agency….?"

"Too many crossed cases…" Sam answered simply.

Siderov gave a small nod, "sticking their noses where is does not belong then…?" He then gave a small snort as he looked first to the unconscious detective then back to Sam, "the local constabulary, forever getting into what they do not understand…this game we play…" Siderov waved a hand between himself and Sam as he spoke, "it is not for the weak of constitution…the locals should stick to their petty concerns, their drug dealers and wife beaters…."

Sam couldn't help a snort as he remembered the Zama case…not only had LAPD and Deeks made it into the gym first, suspected the drug connection between the gym and the marines, but the detective had held his own against the agents; had saved Sam's life when his cover was blown in less than three days. No Deeks was far from weak or stupid, "different crimes….same case….in the end you're all the same to us…criminals…"

Siderov chose to ignore the insult and waved a casual hand towards Deeks, asking, "So, you tell the truth then…when you say he is not your partner….?"

Sam gave the man a sideways glance, wondering what Siderov meant by the statement-was he insinuating the Sam didn't care about some local cop assigned to his team, or was he trying to get Sam to admit that the detective was a valuable member of the team; either outcome did not bode well for the detective thus Sam just answered with an indifferent shrug.

"No matter your answer…he, as you, interfered in my business…and you both shall pay for that mistake…" Siderov stated.

Summoning all the strength he could muster from his battered body, Sam slowly lifted his head and met Siderov's steely gaze with one of his own, shaking his head slightly, "you're on every watch list…ever agency from the US to Europe…you kill us, won't matter—_you're_ _**not**_ selling those bombs…"

Siderov raised a brow at the agent's defiance, answering casually, "they can't be everywhere, can't have eyes on every potential buyer…in any case, Agent Hanna, it will no longer be you or your detective friend's problem after today…"

Sam sighed internally, this was it…he and Deeks were going to die here; he knew his team…his wife would have given it everything they had, turned over every rock and followed every clue…but this time is wasn't enough…they had just run out of time.

While he had many regrets—for his wife, his kids, his partner and the mission the one true regret, the one that burned in the forefront of his mind, the one that would be the last image burned into his retina's—was Detective Marty Deeks. Sam deeply regretted the words he spoke to the man earlier that day…for the continuous beat down he gave to the man, who, despite all of it, came to back up this team with everything he had…never backing down, and even at one point giving up what meant the most to him—his shield, in an effort to save one of their own.

He glanced over at the detective, still draped unconscious in the chair and only hoped that it would end quickly…that Deeks would die without suffering anymore at Siderov's hand. Sam turned his attention back to Siderov and his men…they were conversing quietly in their native tongue, no doubt on how to kill and dispose of their bodies…on moving the bombs to a safer location…he fervently hoped that he was correct, that some agency…any agency…would succeed in taking Siderov down…retrieve the nuclear weapons before countless more people suffered for his failure.

Sam dropped his head in frustration and growing despair, never in all his time in the military and as agent had he felt this level of helplessness…of anger. He had failed on so many levels today…his wife, his kids…his agency and his mission; but mostly he had failed his partner…his eyes rested on the detective who seemed to be stirring in his seat.

…**..ncis la….**

Lowering the binoculars from his eyes Callen reported with frustration, "…there is no way we can get in there without being seen."

"If Siderov sees us coming he'll cut his losses and run…" Michelle stated.

Face drawn into a worried scowl, Kensi said, "…meaning he'll kill Deeks and Sam."

Michelle nodded.

Eying the area with mounting anger and frustration, Kensi pointed to the ridge behind the buildings, "we could come down from behind…the ridge would offer us some cover…tactical can't be that far behind us…"

"It would take us close to an hour to work our way around that way, with no guarantees we wouldn't be spotted…can't get a fix on any of Siderov's men from here…" Callen replied with equal frustration.

"I'll go in…" Michelle stated.

"What…no, Siderov already tried to have you killed…" Callen exclaimed.

"Maybe…not sure what was up with his lackeys…they didn't turn hostile until Kensi showed up…I think they were just supposed to contain the problem until they heard from Siderov…" Michelle explained, "besides, I've worked with the bastard long enough to know he likes to look his enemies in the face…let them know he beat them, before he kills them…"

Seeing the uncertain looks directed her way by the two NCIS agents, Michelle continued, "look, we don't have many options…I go in and see if I can salvage this cover, get eyes on the inside…if it's compromised, come in guns blazing…I'm not hearing another plan to get Sam and Deeks out of there…

Callen and Kensi exchanged uncertain looks, the plan was risky…doomed to failure from the start, but they were out of options if they wanted to attempt to salvage the mission, retrieve the bombs…and, against all odds-save their team mates.

Finally, Callen broke eye contact with Kensi and turned to Michelle with a curt nod, "let's do this…"

…**NCIS LA…**


	3. Chr 3: The Rescue

**When All Is Said & Done**

Chapter 3

The sound of sudden gunfire drew the attention of all the occupants inside the abandoned building, including a dazed but now very much conscious Deeks. Though disoriented he none the less was drawn to the disturbance happening beyond the door behind him, "wha…ha..p…in'….uh, Sss..mm..o' a'…?" the detective's speech was slurred and breathy with pain.

Sam spared a quick glance towards Siderov and his men, who were too thoroughly occupied with the disturbance outside to give their hostages any notice at the moment, before hissing to the detective, "keep your head down Deeks…think the cavalry has arrived…"

Deeks winced in pain when he attempted a weak grin, slurring, "…ca…v'ry…K…ns…"

Despite the tense situation, Sam couldn't help a snort, "yeah, Deeks, Kensi is coming to save your butt…"

Barely getting his head up enough to look towards his team mate, Deeks gave another lopsided grin despite the pain from his broken jaw, gasping out, "…yo…ur…sss…ttooo…"

Sam nodded and smiled, "yeah, mine too…"

…**..ncis la….**

The noise and gunfire outside the door had ceased for several seconds and Siderov's men were about to go out the door when it burst open and Michelle strode purposefully in through the door, gun drawn, her face a mask of rage, "Siderov, you bastard…you want me dead have the guts to face me first…."

"Ah, my fair Quinn…is it…?" Siderov questioned with a clap of his hands, "so glad you could join us; you and the ladies didn't enjoy each other's company I take it….?"

"Don't send your lackeys to do a professionals job…unless you're in the market for new bimbo's that is…" Michelle stated, despite the guns on her, the CIA agent's gun was firmly fixed on the Russian's chest as she made her way further into the room, "is that all I am to you…a loose end…?"

"Now, what can I say to that my dear…when it appears you replaced me first…" Siderov said with a nod towards the agent in the chair.

"I was having a little fun…can't deny a girl a little fun once in a while…and he had his uses…" Michelle shot back, barely sparing a glance towards her husband, knowing it would break her to see what Siderov had done to him. She had to get them all out of this, and to do that she had to maintain cover and keep her wits…she had to find out how much of the op was truly compromised.

"I would never deny you your fun, my dear…I just take issue with those you chose to partake of that fun with…" Siderov stated, his voice low and gruff in his growing anger.

"My personal business is my own…you got nothing to be jealous about, you don't own me…" Michelle stated angrily.

"Not when it compromises me and my organization…you should be more careful who you take to your bed…" Siderov accused.

"Tread lightly…" Michelle warned.

"While you were…_using him_, he, my dear Quinn, was using you…" Siderov stated, "…**he** is an agent with NCIS…" waving towards Deeks, Siderov continued with mild exasperation, "…you even managed to get the attention of the local police in this city…"

"Hey…hey, I had no idea…the guy came highly recommended…I used him for a few jobs, never gave me any problem…"Quinn defended, "how can you be so sure he's a government agent…?"

"Our friend, Javier, was kind enough to point it out to me…" Siderov said.

"And you believe_ that_ snake…?" Michelle scoffed.

"He had no reason to lie…" the Russian replied.

Quinn gave a quick glance towards her husband then towards the detective, wincing when she saw the deep, black bruising and misshapen look to his jaw. She knew they were both in rough shape, recognized the electric box and knew the torture her husband had endured, knew both men needed immediate medical attention…this needed to play out quickly.

Quinn gave snort and lowered her weapon, walking farther into the room she said, "and you started the fun without me…I'm hurt…." pointing towards Sam, she continued angrily, "_**he**__ betrayed me_, I have the right to be the one to kill him _**and**_ his friend in there…"

Outside, and those listening in ops, gave a sigh of relief, 'they were alive…hurt, but alive; now to get them out of there…'

Siderov shrugged, "we had some…business to discuss first…"

"Business…really…" Michelle intoned skeptically.

"There is still the matter of the sale of the devices…" Siderov said.

"Yeah, you try that now you'll likely have more than one agent and detective on your ass…" Michelle said, "…take it you got some place you can stash a nuclear bomb 'til the heat dies down?"

"Yes, no doubt any sale will have to wait…and have no fear, my dear Quinn, the merchandise is quite safe…" Siderov said with a nod, pinning the woman with a pointed stare.

"What…?" Michelle snapped, growing uncomfortable with Siderov's stare.

"You…?" the Russian stated.

"Yeah, what about me…" she replied.

"How did you know he…" Siderov waved in Deeks direction, "…was a detective?"

Michelle straightened her stance, her hand tightening unconsciously on the gun at her side, "you said he was…"

"No, I said he was a local cop…I never said he was a detective…" Siderov countered, looking from the female agent to the detective then back to Quinn.

"What are you trying get at…?" Michelle demanded, not liking the direction the conversation was going and hoping that Callen, Kensi and the TAC team were in place and ready.

"Maybe you weren't betrayed…maybe you were actually working with this NCIS, no?" Siderov accused, continuing, "maybe you made a deal with them, my dear Quinn; or is it Quinn-perhaps you too are an agent…"

"You're joking right…how long have you known me…how many jobs have I done for you…?" Michelle pointed out.

Siderov nodded, "yes, you have quite a few kills under your belt…so then, I shall hire you for another job then-it should be no problem for you…"

Michelle eyed Siderov suspiciously but said nothing, watching as the man moved behind Sam and picked up a gun from the nearby table, raising it in her direction; to which she reacted in kind, exclaiming, "what the hell you playing at, Siderov…?"

Standing directly behind Sam, Siderov placed his free hand on Sam's shoulder, "kill him…if you are truly who you have claimed to be…kill this agent and his detective friend…it is just another job, right…you, after all, owe no allegiance to NCIS…"

Michelle took in and released a deep breath, her face a tight mask as she nodded her head, "you're right, it's time to_**move**_on…get everything _**out in the open**__…" _Michelle hoped the team understood her signals and were ready to move in_, "_I'll do this job for you…but it will be my last; I can't do business with someone I can't trust…"

Siderov returned her nod and stepped back as Michelle approached Sam, their eyes met as she raised the weapon to his head, "sorry baby…."

Michelle quickly raised her weapon and fired three shots, point blank, at Siderov, the same time she yelled, "**NOW…**"

The Russian's body danced a moment before crumpling to the ground…as the other two men in the room opened fire on her position she leapt forward and pushed Sam's chair over as the door simultaneously opened and agents poured into the room. The fire fight was over in seconds…Siderov and his men all lay dead or injured around the room.

"Michelle…?" Callen called, racing to the downed woman, fearing she had been hit. Smiling with relief when she hoisted herself up to a sitting position and he got his first look at his partner, "Sam…I'm I glad to see you…"

Meanwhile, Kensi had rushed past Callen and Michelle to get to the man tied to the chair in the next room; slowing to tentative steps as she eyed the drooped head and took in the blood pooled on the floor, "Deeks?"

His head bobbed for several seconds before he mustered the energy to raise it and look towards his partner, she couldn't help a sympathetic wince at seeing the black bruising across his face and the blood, dried and matted in his blonde hair, "Deeks…?"

His glazed eyes settled on her and he attempted a grin, causing a gasp of pain to escape him as he slurred, "…m….won…'er…'oom….n…"

Something between an amused snort and sob of relief left her as she roughly rubbed at her eyes and whispered, "yeah, Wonder Woman…had to come save the Wonder Twins…" as she knelt down to better assess her partners injuries and begin to figure out the best way to get him out of his bindings.

His strength spent, his head flopped back down, but not before she heard him whisper back, "…'ew ya' 'ould…"

"Kensi…?" a concerned voice said behind her, and soon Callen was kneeling beside her, taking in the detectives injuries as she had moments before.

"He's in rough shape…think his jaw is broken…probably a concussion, too…" she reported as she set about undoing his bonds, "….Sam?"

Callen nodded back towards Sam and Michelle, "electric shock…needs to be checked out at the hospital, but at the moment he's holding his own…Michelle's got him…."

Kensi just nodded, "let's get them out of here…"

…**..NCIS LA…..**


	4. Ch 4: Waiting

**When All Is Said & Done**

**Chapter 4**

Thanks to Hetty, the team met up in a private, family room at the ER.

"How are they…?" Hetty immediately asked her senior agent, as she and the two tech's walked into the private room.

"Both are in pretty rough shape…Sam managed to tell us a little bit. Siderov used the electric chair on him…he's got first and second degree burns on his back, arms and legs; doc's are worried about damage to his internal organs and especially his heart…" Callen shook his head and trailed off.

"And Mr. Deeks…?" Hetty prodded.

"Concussion from where he was hit at the pool," Callen stated, again trailing off, head down.

"And…" Hetty again prodded, concerned by her SFA reluctance to share details with her, "Mr. Callen, are Mr. Deeks injuries life threatening?"

Callen shook his head, "I don't think so…at least what the doctors' have found so far, they're not…" Callen sighed deeply and ran a hand over his tired face, "…_a drill_…Sam said they used _**a drill**_ on him…they broke his jaw in two places…at least four of his teeth are going to have to be removed…and his jaw wired shut…"

Callen spread his arms then let them fall, finding no more words to share with his boss, he turned away from her and found a corner chair to fall heavily into; dropping his head into his hands.

Hetty pursed her lips and scanned the occupants of the room critically…Michelle and Kensi were seated side by side, not talking, but none the less, offering silent comfort to one and other; Callen was off by himself, taking full blame for the blown op and injured agents; the tech's simply stood just inside the door, uncertainty written across their faces. If she wasn't careful this operation and its aftermath could irreparably damage this team's cohesiveness…send them all running into opposite corners nursing guilt, pain, and a goodly dose of anger that was for none to bear alone.

It would take more than the fancy rhetoric and double speak of their resident psychologist to put this team back together…each member needed to hear it from someone who knew…a peer that they could relate too… who had been in their shoes and survived.

Turning to Nell, Hetty said, "I have some phone calls to make…please keep me updated as to the status of Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks…"

Nell nodded somberly, "sure Hetty…don't worry we'll take care of them…"

Hetty rested a hand on the young tech's arm and gave her a gentle smile, "I know you will…"

When the door closed behind Hetty, Nell looked back at the somber group and gave a deep sigh; there wasn't much to do for the team at the moment, they were all in the same boat…just waiting for further news of their injured friends. The only thing she could do was try to make them take care of themselves so they were able to face whatever came at them next.

Turning to Eric, she said, "we need coffee and snacks…I know none of them have eaten anything since early this morning…they need to keep their strength up…"

Eric just nodded and followed Nell from the room, the others didn't even notice they had gone.

…**.ncis la….**

"As soon as I can make the arrangements I can be on the next transport out…" the male voice answered Hetty's request.

"Can I trouble you to bring another member of your team…?" Hetty inquired.

"Why…? Who, neither Danny nor Chin know Sam like I do, I don't see how they could help…?" Steve asked.

"Not for Mr. Hanna, for Mr. Deeks…" Hetty responded.

"Deeks…? He's the detective working on your team…" Steve said.

"Indeed, and he would respond better to someone he sees as more his peer…" Hetty explained.

Shaking his head, Steve said skeptically, "I'm not sure how much help that will be…Deeks and Danny didn't exactly hit it off from what I heard…"

"Perhaps their first impressions were less than amenable, but they none the less share an unusual bond-detectives that found themselves caught up in the intrigues of government agencies…and I know your Mr. Williams has experienced as much in your company as Mr. Deeks has in ours…" Hetty said, adding, "…and the detective has experienced more than his fair share of combat in his own backyard, from what I understand…"*

Having long ago been schooled in the "all-seeing" Henrietta Lange, Steve didn't bother to question what it was Hetty was referring too, instead just saying, "I'll see what I can do…not sure the governor would be too happy with two members of 5-0 out of the country at one time."

"You leave your governor to me…" Hetty said.

With a slight smile, Steve answered, "Yes, ma'am…I'll talk to Danny; and like I said, as soon as I can make arrangements one or both of us will be there…"

"Thank you commander…" Hetty said, hanging up the phone.

She turned and looked out the lobby windows, taking in the beauty of the setting sun against the California backdrop and gave another heavy sigh, 'if all went to plan then she had two of her agents taken care of…now for her SFA. There was only one other person that she could think of that he would listen too, but it was a gamble; the cure might be worse than the disease as unfounded, soul-eating guilt was the man's middle name…but she had to try….

Dialing the well know number, she greeted the person who answered succinctly, "Jethro, we have a problem…"

…**NCIS LA…**

**anyone who is a fan of 5-0 knows its canon that Danny was there for 911 and the very same day his partner Gracie and himself were caught by drug dealers and tortured before they shot her point blank and killed her. And if you know that then you know how many times ol' Steve has managed to be tortured!

a/n: yeah, I managed to work 5-0 in again…not too sure about the success of the remainder of the story but I'm gonna try…surprisingly the teams have a lot of pain and suffering in common, and it was a real toss-up between using Danny or Chin as a counter to Deeks…I'm a BIG Chin fan, but I chose Danny because of the flashback partner/911 epi & the epi where his Hawaiian partner was killed that can relate to when Deeks lost Traynor (which is completely different than Chin's experiences with being dumped in prison and losing his wife). And just the fact that when Danny & Steve first met they didn't think too much of each other…similar to the "continuing" Sam/Deeks interactions.


	5. Ch 5: Prognosis & Hope

**When All Is Said & Done**

**Chapter 5**

Conversation done, Hetty slowly made her way back to her team. Entering the private family room she noted that each agent was holding and absently taking small sips of coffee, packages of crackers and cookies were sitting open but mostly untouched by each of them.

"Well done, Miss Jones…they need to keep up their strength to face the days to come…" Hetty said.

"It's not much…" Nell said with a shrug, adding ruefully, "I couldn't get any of them to go to the cafeteria…"

"This is better than nothing…and I don't imagine any of them will be going anywhere until they hear about Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hanna," Hetty replied, turning to Eric she said, "If I can press upon you to do one more thing…over the next several hours these people will be flying in…if you could make sure they are given accommodations then brought to the hospital…"

Eric took the list and looked at it, noting with surprise the names, "uh, yeah sure, no problem…"

Hetty nodded her thanks, she knew she could easily do the task herself, but knew also that Eric was extremely uncomfortable at the hospital and felt as helpless as the experienced agents; she couldn't help her agents at the moment, but she could give her tech's some busy work to keep them occupied…people always functioned better when they felt they were doing something to help, no matter how small, "thank you, Mr. Beale…you can set them up in the usual hotel…"

"Okay, I'll do that now…check to see when their flights are due in…" Eric said, all but running to escape the somber atmosphere of the room.

"Did you…is Nate coming…" Nell asked quietly.

Hetty nodded, "he is due in day after tomorrow…until then we have to do what we can for our agents…"

Nell just nodded and followed Hetty's line of sight as the older woman scanned the room and its occupants.

…**.ncis la….**

It was some hours later when a tired looking doctor stepped into the room, "I'm looking for Mrs. Hanna…?"

Jumping from her seat, Michelle moved to face the doctor, "How is he…how's my husband…can I see him now…?"

The doctor took a step back and held up a staying hand, "your husband is being settled into a room as we speak and was given a mild sedation so he can rest more comfortably…we ran an EEG on his heart and an MRI to check for organ damage…luckily we didn't find any…we will run a stress test in the upcoming week to test his heart and lung function when he can tolerate movement as the burns heal…and we may require him to wear a monitor for a short time to monitor any long term effects of the…electrocution he suffered."

The room gave an audible sigh of relief, Kensi gave Michelle a hug and Callen sighed in relief as he ran a hand across his face as Hetty said, "That is a good piece of new doctor, thank you. Now, what can you tell me about Mr. Deeks condition?"

"I am not Mr. Deeks attending physician, but I did stop and get an update for you…"the doctor continued, "the initial assessments proved correct…Mr. Deeks does have a mild concussion and we stitched up a gash on the back of his head…only took six; his jaw is broken in two places, and will have to be wired shut for several weeks…we also had to remove all the cracked teeth on the lower right side of his mouth…I know that sounds bad but an oral surgeon can repair this damage when the swelling goes down with partials and a bridge. The jawline and cheek are extremely swollen…for the purpose of pain management and to keep him as still as possible, we are going to keep him under sedation for a day or so until the initial swelling goes down and we can actually perform the needed surgery to set the jaw and wire it…right now it is in a temporary sling."

"Can we see him…?" Kensi asked quietly.

"He is also being settled into a room…his doctor will be down shortly to answer your questions and you can see him and Mr. Hanna then…" the doctor answered.

Hetty held out a hand to shake with the doctor, "thank you doctor…"

"You're very welcome…any more questions you can have either myself or Dr. Travis paged…"

Hetty nodded and watched the doctor leave the room, relieved to see the others noticeable more at ease at the positive update they had just received. The team's problems were far from over, but they had just made it over the second hurtle…they had been rescued and now they were going to live, despite the tortures they had been subject too.

Hetty excused herself when her phone rang, stepping outside the door she answered, "Yes , Mr. Beale…?"

"I'm heading for the airport, Agent Gibbs plane is due to land in a half an hour…" Eric reported.

"Very good, despite the lateness of the hour, please bring Agent Gibbs to the hospital…" Hetty directed, asking, "…and the others?"

"The commander called about two hours ago…they are taking a transport, should be here in about five hours…" Eric said.

"Thank you Mr. Beale…please see to it that they are brought to the hospital when they touch down…" Hetty directed, knowing that despite the encouraging news none of her agents were likely to leave the hospital over the next several days.

"Will do…" Eric replied, asking more tentively, "uh, Hetty…any news on Sam and Deeks…?"

"Yes, they are both being moved to rooms…it will take them both a while, but they should both recover…" she said.

"That's great news…" Eric replied, a grin in his tone.

The operations manager ended the call with her tech and pocketed her phone; placing her hands in the pockets of her tailored jacket, she took a deep, cleansing breath and turned to face the door and the rampant emotions raging on the other side, thinking sadly, 'it would be a very long while before any of them were recovered from this ordeal….'

…**..NCIS LA…..**

a/n: I know, the chapters are short, but they just kind of have these natural breaking points….next up…Gibbs and Callen have a discussion on the challenges, heartache and guilt of leadership….


	6. Ch 6: Healing BeginsCallen & Gibbs

**When All Is Said & Done**

**Chapter 6**

a/n: okay…a triple cross over…**not** my original intention, but that's where the muse chose to take the story…I honestly don't know if I can pull this off…so if it turns out crap…_sorry, for wastin' your time!._

_Summary: Callen's got a lot of guilt and uncertainty to work through…and old friend tried to help…_

…**..NCIS LA….NCIS….HAWAII 5-0…..**

Callen didn't turn towards the footsteps he heard coming up the hallway towards the ICU cubicle that held his partner. It was poor trade craft he knew, but he knew that hospital was secure…knew Hetty had seen to it personally that her recuperating agents were as safe as was humanly possible in the hospital; that additional NCIS agents had been pulled in and were on-site to offer support and security.

Eying the newcomer's reflection in the glass, the only indication of the young agents surprise at the person now standing beside him was a raised eyebrow.

The two men stood in companionable silence for several moments before Gibbs said quietly, "Hetty gave me an update on your team…seems your partner's heartbeat has settled back into a regular rhythm and the last time she checked the detective was sleeping peacefully….Kensi and Nell are with him…"

"_**Not**_ sleeping…heavily sedated so he won't have to deal with the excruciating pain," Callen ground out, adding in a quiet tone borne of weariness, "Michelle had to go home and see to the kids…she didn't know what she was supposed to tell them about why there dad was in the hospital…I couldn't help her…how do you tell two little kids that there dad was tortured…?" his eyes never leaving his sleeping partner.

"_You don't_…" Gibbs quickly replied, "But, people get hurt and sick all the time…she's the wife of a Navy SEAL…she'll come up with something…"

Callen only shook his head in response.

"You know, your team did good out there…you caught Siderov, and a full tactical unit is on their way to retrieve the bombs…" Gibbs said quietly.

Callen scoffed angrily, "like it matters…like any of it matters…we no sooner take out a 'Siderov' and five more move up to take his place…"

"This one was a_ little_ more dangerous than most," Gibbs intoned evenly.

"They're all dangerous…" Callen sighed heavily, as he turned towards the older agent, asking curtly, "Why are you here?"

Gibbs gave a small shrug, "for you…thought you might need…"

"_What I need!_ _**What I need, **_is for two of my team not to be laying half dead in this damn hospital…that's what I need," Callen exploded, pacing the hallway as he ran his hands over his short cropped hair and then gave a slight wave before turning to his old mentor and pointed to his partner, "I caused this…I'm the one who brought Javier in…knowing he was a manipulative bastard-knowing that I had given him even more reason to want revenge when we turned him over to the Iraqi's…"

Gibbs cocked his head slightly as he impassively watched the younger agents self-depreciating rant, knowing that things were likely to get a little worse before they were likely to get better.

"So, what was your other option…who would Siderov have trusted to broker the deal…?" Gibbs asked curiously.

"What?" Callen asked shortly. He was not in the mood to go over this case with anyone at the moment…to lay out all his mistakes on this op; to analyze and make excuses for his deadly choices. There were no excuses…no easy answers to assuage his guilt. The guilt was easier…easier to wrap himself in self-recrimination than to face his mistakes in the form of two injured teammates…to worry about how this op would affect him…affect the team, in the long run. So he chose instead to push those thoughts aside…the gut-gnawing question…could his team recover from this….could they still trust him to lead them?

Quirking a brow, he pinned Callen with an unwavering gaze, "you heard me, _**Agent**_ Callen…what were your other options? It was my understanding that you were working against the clock on this one…that Siderov wasn't giving a lot of wiggle room on this one…"

"Siderov wasn't gonna sell those nukes 'til he was sure it was safe…sure of his payday…" Callen said, "We could have let it play out…come up with something better. We could have found someone…"

"You did find someone…" Gibbs reminded the younger agent pointedly.

Callen sent the impassive, older man a scowl and bit out angrily, "…should have_ created_ someone that Siderov would have been willing to deal with…something _**we**_ had more control over…"

Gibbs gave a snort, questioning knowingly, "and you _had_ that kind of time…takes months to set up a legend like that…you know that…and Siderov had already had those nukes on ice for months…he needed to move them…"

"Damn it, there had to be another way…" Callen snapped angrily.

"It was a good plan, Hetty wouldn't have let it proceed if she didn't feel it was your best option—she authorized the 'rescue' of Javier, despite the danger he could pose; the threat assessment had to have weighed in your teams favor…but, there are always more variables than we can control in any op; you did everything you could to keep Javier secure…"

"Did I…?" Callen spat angrily, pinning the older agent with a hard stare, "I knew he would try something to compromise this op…we kept him under 24 hour surveillance to make sure he couldn't try anything…and still the bastard managed to slip something past us…"

Gibbs cocked an eyebrow at the younger agent, "…think you just proved my point…you said yourself you were suspicious of Javier, knew he'd try something…kept eyes on him 24/7…but no matter how hard you try, we can't predict everything; can't know just how far someone like Javier will go. But don't ever think for a minute it wasn't a solid plan…played into the time restraints that Siderov gave to the team…" Gibbs replied, unfazed by Callen's outbursts, adding with a nod towards Sam, "and I know agent Hanna was willing to do just about anything to see this case through….see it done, so his wife could put that alias to bed…"

"It was too personal for him; Siderov sensed something between him and Michelle…we should have pulled him out…" Callen said.

Gibbs shook his head and smiled, "yeah, I believe Hetty told me she tried that one already…something about his alias busting out of jail…"

Callen couldn't help but give a snort; he had warned the operations manager against that ill-advised decision, but was over-ruled.

"Siderov made it personal…it wasn't any one bad decision on anyone's part…it's just how it played out. Have you ever considered that Siderov might have already planned on taking Sam out of the picture; Siderov was rather fond of Quinn…didn't strike me as a man who liked to share…" Gibbs said, adding pointedly, "it's one thing to analyze an op for flaws, to learn from the mistakes; but you can drive yourself to an early grave with the guilt…this second guessing yourself…second guessing your team…"

"_**My**__ team_," Callen again scoffed, "after this, there might not be much of a team left…"

Giving the younger agent a raised eyebrow that clearly asked him to elaborate on that particular conclusion, Callen stated simply, "it was too close this time…not just for Sam, but for Michelle too….they've got kids to think about…"

Gibbs gave a slight nod at the explanation, pinning Callen with a pointed look, encouraging him to continue.

"…And Kensi is really shook up about all of this, I've never seen her so close to losing it when we found Deeks tied to that damn chair…she tries to hide it, but she really has feelings for the guy…"

"The detective…?"

"Yeah," Callen clarified, before continuing, "and Deeks…ya' know this isn't' the first time his involvement with NCIS has nearly killed him…"

"Dangerous job…" Gibbs agreed, countering the assessment with, "wasn't aware LAPD undercover was without its _**own**_ fair share of danger…?"

For that Callen had no counter.

"Should have been me…" Callen intoned several moments later, his eyes again fastened on his sleeping partner.

When Gibbs didn't comment, Callen continued, "Sam's my partner…should have been me with him…"

"Hard to be two places at one time…" Gibbs countered, "you were a little busy at the time…Deeks had his back…"

"Look where that got him…" Callen scoffed, giving a heavy sigh the agent gave a knowing nod as he finally acknowledged to himself and then turned to Gibbs to admit verbally for the first time, "they really don't work that well together…not one on one like that…like partners need too; shouldn't have let Hetty change the team assignments like that; we already saw how bad that could go when Hunter tried it before…"

"How would that have worked…?" Gibbs questioned rhetorically, continuing before Callen can disagree, "Sam was already established with Michelle and Deeks didn't have the training, like Kensi, to back you up going after Javier."

Callen just shook his head and huffed in annoyance…he didn't want to hear logic; not with his team falling apart. At the end of the day, it didn't matter how logical or solid the plan was…two of his teammates…his friends, had been tortured….were both in stable, but still, critical condition.

His eyes again turning towards his partners room, Gibbs noted a distant look in Callen's eyes, and when the young agent again spoke it seemed it was more to himself…like he was trying to work something out in his mind, "It's not** just** because this op went to hell…its Sam and Deeks, I don't know if this team can ever be what it was. God, Sam was so damn terrified for Michelle, he was so on edge…he even disobeyed a direct order from Hetty…and the things he said to Deeks…" Callen again shook his head, "if he would have just told us all to go to hell and walked out, even in the middle of an op, no one could have blamed him…"

Turning to pin his gaze on Gibbs, Callen continued matter of factly, "but, you know what the worst thing was…no one said anything…we let Sam ride that ragged edge…we didn't try to pull back or reign him in…even when he disobeyed Hetty's direct order…"

Gibbs just nodded…he knew that ragged edge well…had been there…his own team had been there, too many times in the past…and somehow, no matter what he did or how the situation played out he and his team always found their way back.

"Your team's been together for four years…something must be working…" Gibbs commented, "team spend that much time in each other's pockets there's bound to be some tension…"

"Tension…I'm not talking about pre-op nerves or being in each other's pockets for twelve hours on a stake out…I'm talking about not trusting the person next to you to have your back…to not think they are up for the job…" Callen said, furrowing his brow as he continued, "I mean, I knew Sam had issues with Deeks…the guy is a class clown…but, I really thought Sam had gotten through all that…apparently I was wrong; what kind of team leader does that make me that I can't read my own people?"

"Has it ever interfered with an op?" Gibbs asked curiously, "…do you think that 'tension' between them somehow compromised this op…?"

"No…!" Callen exclaimed, "they both knew the stakes…they wouldn't have let their personal feeling jeopardize this or any other op…"

Gibbs nodded and asked casually, "I gotta ask…do you feel the same way as Sam…if you knew the tension was this high between them why not kick the detective back to the PD?"

"He's annoying as hell…goes out of his way to rile Sam up…but, he's a damn good cop…a good undercover…and has had this team's back since day one…but he goes his own road and doesn't let others dictate his actions," Callen answered, explaining, "and Sam he's all about teamwork…all about the orders and the mission…they're both good at what they do; they just approach the job from two very different viewpoints. Neither one is wrong…neither one is right; it's just who they are…"

"So Sam doesn't trust Deeks…yet they both took their orders…did their job; and despite whatever is between them…they had each other's back out there…" Gibbs said, "Despite what Sam may have said to Deeks, the detective stayed…why…?"

When Callen just looked at the older agent, unsure what to say, Gibbs continued with a shrug, "you admitted it yourself…the detective is good at what he does…already had a successful career at the PD and wasn't looking to change up his game plan when met up with NCIS; certainly didn't need the added aggravation that comes with working with a federal agency. He stayed because there was something there he needed…"

Callen sighed heavily, "Well, I'm not too sure we have anything he needs or wants anymore…"

"He might just surprise you on that count…Sam too; 'cause at the end of the day, despite their differences they know who was there for them. Not saying it will be easy…but give them some time. They went through a lot together…people are allowed to surprise us…we're all allowed a chance to learn from our mistakes…and mistaken impressions; and most important…we're allowed to admit we were wrong and change our minds…"

Callen just gave a quiet chuckle and shook his head, asking, "Just how did you get so smart…"

Now it was Gibbs turn to give a chuckle as he shook his head, "learned from the best…"

"Who…?" Callen asked, genuinely curious.

"My team…" Gibbs answered succinctly.

Callen eyed the older agent for any sign of sarcasm and found none, "…ten years it's been…with the same team; how do you manage to do it…?"

"I trust my team to do their jobs…" Gibbs replied.

"It can't be that easy…" Callen said with a shake of his head, "the only thing I've learned is which pain reliever gets rid of a migraine that quickest…"

When Gibbs just pinned him with an unamused glare, Callen asked, "but really…just trust them to do their job…there has to be more to it than that…what about Sam and Deeks trust issues or Kensi and Deeks feelings for each other…both are dangerous distractions to agents in the field…?"

"Hasn't stopped DiNozzo and David from being one of the best teams I've ever worked with…." Gibbs replied.

Callen quirked an eyebrow at Gibbs, waiting for the agent to elaborate the point, when he didn't, Callen asked slowly, "Tony and Ziva…what about rule 12…"

"Oh, rule 12 is still there…" Gibbs stated.

"So, what, they don't trust each other….?" Callen prodded, "but, they've worked together longer than my team's been together…"

"Yes and no…" Gibbs said.

Gibbs cryptic answers were starting to frustrate the young agent, "Gibbs, what the hell are you saying; they love each other…they hate each other…they trust, don't trust each other…what…?"

"I'm saying it's all of it and none of it. I'm saying in ten years we've fought, we've disagreed, we've all walked away or thought about. We've had our own share of cases that have threatened to rip my team apart and we may have lied to ourselves…but never to each other, never about what truly mattered; and in the end…despite everything we've been through…put each other through…at the end of the day, my team knows who has their back…" Gibbs intoned with an open sincerity Callen had never heard the older man display.

Callen just nodded slowly, "I hear you…and I want to believe that…I just don't know…"

"Put the guilt away…it's not for your team to see," Gibbs said, "what your team needs to see is its leader being strong, being there for them…sometimes all you need to do is listen…they'll work it out…and maybe, if your lucky…you might just get your own head on straight because of it."

Callen just shook his head and gave a small chuckle, "I don't have room for a boat…"

Gibbs laughed at Callen's cheeky comment, grabbing the boy in a loose head lock and commenting, "Got to get you a hobby…and keep that door open for your team…"

Callen wrestled himself free of Gibbs loose hold, and said seriously, "whatever it takes, I want my team back…"

Gibbs nodded at Callen before then nodding his head toward the elevators, lightly ordering, "first order of business is for you to take care of yourself…to be there for your team: cafeteria, Hetty said you haven't eaten in nearly a day…let's go…"

Callen stood thoughtfully for a moment, his eyes drifting back towards his sleeping partner, then back to Gibbs, before giving a nod, "want to stop by Deeks room first…check in…"

Gibbs nodded and waved a hand towards the elevator; as Callen walked past, Gibbs fell into step beside him.

As the elevator doors were closing, Gibbs gave as subtle nod and smile to the diminutive woman who had stepped out of the family room across from Sam's room. Staring off at the closing elevator, Hetty gave a small nod in return.

…**..NCIS….NCIS LA…..HAWAII 5-0….**

**a/n**: man, I tried' n tried 'n tried to work the conversation so that Gibbs could give Callen actual (canon) examples, instead of generalities of team trust, of all the times his own team had lied to/mistrusted/kept secrets or just blatantly screwed each other, both during cases (Rivken and Jean Benoit, come to mind) and in their personal lives (Shannon & Kelley, all their father issues, etc.)…but I just couldn't get it in there w/out sounding totally OOC and forced. If anyone has a way to do it, that runs smoother than what I pounded out, I would love to hear your ideas, as I don't have a beta to bounce ideas off of …that's one of the reasons I putting this chapter out, despite not being happy with it… …if you have a better angle in mind or an _**any idea**_ for a scene/chapter between any two characters…something you'd like to see…please drop a line…._and you know better than to ask for a Deeks/Kensi one_


	7. Ch 7: Callen & Kensi

**When All Is Said & Done:**

**Conversations in Healing**

**Chapter 7**

a/n: changed to title to something little closer to what this story is turning into…I realized I may have written myself into a corner with regards to one of the characters-Deeks, no doubt, has a broken jaw—gonna be a little hard for him to talk…but even with your mouth clamped shut you can still make out a majority of words, they're just a bit slurred & no doubt painful to do (after all ventriloquist's do it)

This is going to be a very short chapter kicking off the healing process between our team…I don't do sappy well…so, if I'm too off the mark please feel free to offer "any" opinions on characterizations…also, these are going to be random conversations between all the characters over the course of several weeks/months, so they might not always appear to be in any chronological order and some my overlap (time wise)

…**..NCIS LA….NCIS DC….HAWAII 5-0….**

Gibbs stood just inside the doorway of the dimly lit room as Callen made his way over to Deeks bed.

"Hey Kens, how is he," Callen asked as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up from where she had been sitting, and Callen could make out, despite the dimness of the room that his junior agents eyes were red rimmed and puffy and exhaustion poured from her as she answered tiredly, "still sleeping…he hasn't…he hasn't regained consciousness since they brought him in…"

Callen nodded, his own eyes burning as he looked over to the man on the bed. He patted her shoulder again, saying blandly, "I suppose telling you to go home and get some sleep is wasting my breath….?"

She quirked on eye at the SFA, countering, "…you're still here."

Callen had no answer other than to shrug his shoulders.

Kensi stood from her chair and stretched tired, cramped muscles, asking with equal concern, "how's Sam?"

"Sleeping," Callen said, looking over to Gibbs for confirmation as he gave Kensi an update on Sam's condition.

While he was talking Kensi followed Callen's line of sight and was surprised to see the DC agent, "Agent Gibbs…what are you doing here…"

"Back up…" was all he said in response.

Her face hard, she looked back at her injured partner, intoning angrily, "…a little late for that."

"Kens…!" Callen exclaimed quietly, reaching out to gently grasp her arm.

For his part, Gibbs just shook his head lightly, responding quietly, "not for the Deeks…or Hanna; for you…Callen…anyone that wants to talk…"

Kensi sighed heavily, bringing her hands up to cover her face, then rubbing at her tired eyes, she said, "sorry…sorry, really, I didn't mean it…"

"I know…" Gibbs replied in the same knowing, but quiet voice. "Callen and I are going to the cafeteria, you should come with us."

Shaking her head forcefully, Kensi turned back to the man on the bed, "No. No, I should…I should stay here…in case he wakes up ya' know. Gonna need someone to help him…and no one understands Deeks-speak like me…and now…now, he can't…he can't…"

"Kens, you know the doctors are keeping him sedated for at least the next forty-eight hours…" Callen said quietly, "come with us, let's get something to eat…at least get some coffee…"

Kensi shook her head again before dropping it heavily into her hand, the tears she had been keeping at bay, again threatening to fall, "I…I can't…."

Callen moved up and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Kens…please…"

That's all it took for Kensi, hearing Callen's broken plea, so lost…just like how she felt; and all of the emotions, and the fear, and the worry of the last thirty-six hours finally came to a head. The next thing Callen knew his arms were wrapping around the sobbing woman as she suddenly turned and buried her face in his chest. Thought startled by the outpouring of emotion from the young woman, Callen instinctively raised a hand to gently run through her tussled hair.

He held her tight for a moment, "I know…I know, but they're gonna pull through this…both of them, and we're gonna be here for them, every step of the way…" Callen finally said, his hoarse voice cracking, and his own eyes burning with unshed tears, "and we need to be strong for them…so we need to take care of ourselves…so we can help them…"

For the next few minutes, Callen continued to awkwardly offer what little comfort he could to his junior agent, as uncomfortable with her open display of emotion as he was with his own. He looked to Gibbs for his own support, and from the shadows, Gibbs just gave him a small nod.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours…but at that moment time meant nothing to two people in such desperate pain. The only thing that mattered was the shared understanding and comfort they could give each other. Finally, Callen heard Kensi's sobs lessen to sniffles and he felt as she started to pull away.

When Kensi stepped from his embrace and tried to look away, Callen was quick to gently grab her chin and guide her face so they were looking at each other, catching her embarrassed eye, he said with a small smile, "there is absolutely nothing for either of us to be ashamed of…we have every right to be afraid…."

She just nodded, her face showing none of her surprise, as she reached a hand up to wipe away the few stray tears from Callen's face, saying with quiet certainty, "we'll get them back…"

It was Callen's turn to nod, as he wiped the tears from her face, "we'll get them back…"

For the moment it was enough…her SFA's resolute assurance that her partner…her team could get through this: and for Callen, that at least one member of his team still needed him…still trusted him…

Gibbs quietly opened the door, the light from the hallway flooding the dim room, causing the two younger agents to squint against the glare, "I need coffee…"

Callen turned to Kensi, a small smirk on his face, "you heard the man…"

Kensi wiped the last of the tears from her face, "I could do coffee…and maybe a donut…"

Gibbs followed the two younger agents out of the room and down the hall as Kensi began to ponder the cafeteria choice, her voice getting stronger as they went, "…wonder if they have any with sprinkles…maybe a candy bar for later…"

Gibbs just smiled lightly as they stepped into the elevator, watching the doors close.


End file.
